I ran away from Thanksgiving. Straight up.

I’m not a runner. Well actually I like running, for some cardio, but I don’t normally run from my “problems.” I’m a little bit on the confrontational side. Or a lot bit. Depends on who you talk to 😉   I’d rather address things head on and then move on in the appropriate direction rather than think, worry, or beat around the bush. Just face it and carry on. But Thankgiving, I ran.

Over a year ago my ex-husband and I separated. Something I don’t publicly talk a lot about. Not because it’s emotionally hard to deal with, just that it isn’t everyone’s business. And the last year has been a year of transition. Although we separated over a year ago we still lived together for quite a while, only telling 2 of our closest friends of our decision, for the sake of our daughter. It was the holidays. And after the new year we split our houses and made it known to those close to us of our decision. But there have really only been a couple holidays since then. Easter, that we did together. 4th of July, that Caterina always spends at the lake with her grandparents. But the two bigger holidays loomed in the distance and discussions had already happened and plans made for her to spend both of the holidays with her dad’s family. For her sake. And that’s hard for me to swallow, but I know it’s better for her. And these things are more about her.

Thanksgiving approached and I told myself to suck it up. My parents live on the other side of the country and aren’t huge on holidays. And my sister lives a few hours away and had to work the day before and the day after. Several friends invited me to their houses. But as the holiday got closer I was having a hard time with the idea that I wouldn’t have my mini me on a bigger holiday. And 6 days before Thanksgiving I booked a flight, and 48 hours after booking it I took off to Canada. Where they’ve already had Thanksgiving.

Part of me sighed with relief. As if going somewhere where it wasn’t Thanksgiving would distract me and that would make it go away. Although the other part of me knew damn well that’s not how life works. And even if I did distract myself, not dealing with it would only delay having to deal with it.

Turns out, just this one time, that running was the right way to go.

I spent all of Thanksgiving curled up in front of a fire. Hours on the phone with my loved ones, starting with Caterina. In years past I was making quick phone calls to family as the day was already being spent with other family. Couldn’t hear anyone anyway. Then lots of food and Christmas ads. No, not this time. Thoughtful conversations with those I care so much about. Quiet time to really recognize how much I have to be thankful for. Grateful for the life I choose to live. Because that’s it, right there. This life is a choice. Happiness is a choice. That YOU make.

And for the first time in a long time I actually spent the holiday being thankful.  Really seeing how blessed I am. And thats what the whole holiday is about! I’m even thankful that I ran.

I’m so thankful for this life, and all of the people in it. Including you. Your love and support does not go unnoticed. And I’m so appreciative of you. I wouldn’t be here without you.

THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!!!!

But even though I ran, this one time, I still had some turkey on Thanksgiving. Do not worry 😉

 

 

 

 

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